The Tangent

I think for as long as I could remember I wanted to be an artist, but what my 7 year old mind meant to ask for is to have a creative career. For the next 20 years it went through many manifestations due to lack of guidance. In the early years I could draw, paint, and write so I wanted to be a cartoonist, a painter, and a writer. Then I discovered my ability to create with textiles, sewing and knitting. Therefore my early teenage years were devoted to my want to become a fashion designer. Just before high school I discovered drafting and computer graphics (which was so long ago I believe the computer I worked on is now in the Smithsonian). I loved the math of it, and the logic. But back then I had no connections to tell me there was actually a job in computer graphics. E-mail, websites, and the internet were fairytales in my world.

I did not have the encouragement to follow my creative flow. I was told I needed a job that would make money, something practical, then I could pursue something in the arts. I do not blame my parents, they were of a different generation, and was unaware of what was emerging. I chose engineering. It was practical, I could make money with a bachelor’s degree, and it allowed for some creativity. Besides I loved logic and math, and I was good in both.

Once I entered college I should have taken a more active role in my education. Instead I followed the path laid out for me. I should have pushed for the extra time to take art classes, but money was short which meant so was time. The more quarters in college the more money it would take. I should have been strong enough to realize something was wrong when I would run from the lab as soon as my work was done, and all the other students would linger to have further discussions. They were much more into engineering than I would ever be, but I convinced myself that was fine. I would just be a different engineer.

I LOVED learning, correction, I LOVE learning. I discovered that in college. If I fully understood one new concept from a class I felt thrilled. For the first time my final grade did not determine how I felt about a class. Sure I’m not going to be able to convince others of that, but I came away a stronger student than when I went in. A very expensive way to become a good student. Most of the classes I took as an engineer were fascinating, and I would not have been allowed to take them if I was not an engineer major. I could take art and literature, but engineering were impacted and you were not able to enroll if that wasn’t your major. So I am thankful I chose engineering for that.